I don't know why I do it...

Why do I put myself through this agony!? I have determined that I despise (maybe even hate, although that's a strong word to use, I'm feeling rather strongly) doing anything remotely creative, especially when it comes to baking. Here's the deal. This weekend I'm going to Nick's (my boyfriend for those of you who don't know) family's Easter fish fry. I decided that maybe I could bring something this year. I never bring anything because a) it's a 5 hour drive and I have to make something that can stand the ride and b) I don't want to embarrass myself. I would rather them remember me for my good assets. Well, I was perusing The Pioneer Woman website (http://thepioneerwoman.com/) and came across a recipe for Cake Balls. She had decorated them for Halloween, but I thought "How cute would those be for Easter!". Right then I should have stopped and thought, "Oh no Amanda, not for you. Yes, those would be very cute if Lyndsey were going to make them". Did that cross my mind? NO, unfortunately. It even crossed my mind that the cake balls would turn out to be very cute, and I would take pictures and post them and everyone would be impressed with my unforeseen creativeness. I should have learned a long time ago in my eighth year of 4-H when I made breadsticks with the consistency of a brick. I'm sure the judge about broke a tooth off in her attempt to taste them. Anway, on to the cake balls.

This morning I got up an hour before I usually get up for work to bake the cake. You have to bake the cake, let it cool, crumble it into pieces and then shape into balls, freeze so they get hard and then coat them with white chocolate. Baking the cake went off without a hitch. Feeling accomplished, I went to work and returned at lunch to create the balls. This step also went well. That's about where it ends. I created the MOST UGLY CAKE BALLS KNOWN TO MAN. The melted white chocolate was clumping up on me, so I had clumpy cake balls. I don't have the patience for clumpy cake balls. Furthermore, I started to smell a burning smell. I thought "That's weird, my chocolate isn't burning". Turns out the water in my make-shift double boiler had gone dry, scorching the bottom of my pan. GREAT. WHY DO I PUT MYSELF THROUGH THIS!? However, I managed to get more water and the problem was solved although the burnt smell hung around. I finally got all my balls covered. In my attempt to be creative, I got tubes of decorating icing to make them 'cute'. Right. That didn't work so well. I actually think I made them look worse. In exasperation I couldn't finish decorating my cake balls. Some of them look like they have growths and there's one cyclops. Half of them will just have to be naked. Everyone will be too busy laughing to notice. I took pictures for your entertainment, although I think they look better in the pictures.

This is not the end of the story. I was trying to put the extra melted chocolate into a container. Somehow, the top part of my make-shift double boiler slipped out of my hands onto the container, sending the container flying out of control! Melted candy was now all over my floor, cupboards, you name it. Then, all of a sudden, as I was trying to clean up the chocolate, I got a foot cramp. Yes, that's right, a VERY PAINFUL FOOT CRAMP that started in my big toe. I hoped and prayed that it wouldn't get worse and make it's way into my entire foot, but, to no avail, it got way worse. It almost made me cry given the fact that I was already in a state of exhaustive frustration that had been culminating as a result of my unsuccessful baking attempt.  The foot cramp made me jump up and down, stomping my foot and howling in an attempt to get it to go away. What could be worse than clumpy melted chocolate all over the place and an aweful foot cramp!! Talk about a horrendous experience. I wonder what my neighbors below thought as I was stomping and howling? It was all very traumatic. The message to take away from this is that I will NEVER MAKE CAKE BALLS AGAIN!!!!!

(P.S. On a side note, they do taste pretty darn good.)